Refiners fire

My friend Shaundra and I were hanging out today and I was telling her about the sifting I am going through. She told me that I was being refined and that it would make me beautiful. I thought about that for a minute and all I could think was, 'that's ok, Lord, I am beautiful enough.' Thank you Lord for your sweet sense of humor. That had to come from You because I am just not that clever.

girls only

For the first time in history, all generations living today have been driven by, or at least strongly influenced by the media. Women are faced with some false image of perfection on all fronts. We are bombarded with media images that make us feel so much less than what we should. As if women needed more to worry about. I know it grieves the heart of God! If we could only see ourselves how He sees us! And I think we can if we choose to. We need only look to the word of God and believe it is true. We have to apply it to ourselves. I think that is the hard part for most of us. I can so much more easily believe good things for you than I can for myself and I can so much more easily believe the negative about me than any positive. I am sure you can relate to that. We have to work together to replace the lie with the truth. That sounds so easy but, in truth, it will be a challenge. We have to challenge what we believe about how we should look, what we should wear and how we should use our bodies. It may be a daily struggle. And it will be more of a struggle for some of you than for others. But when we do hard things to honor the Lord, He pours out blessing!
I do know what it means to struggle with insecurity and fear. My mom was 5'2" and weighed just over 100 pounds when she gave birth to me. Her first words about me, in a drug induced stupor of course, were "that's not my baby, that's a buzzard." She certainly didn't mean it, but it was the standing joke at my house. My mom would never call me fat but would always say I was just a big girl. My dad would tease and say 'are ya gonna eat that Tubby Butt". My parents meant no harm there at all. To my mom the fact was she was little and I was big. She's 5'2" and I am 5'7". But my heart heard that I was fat. My dad would tease so that I wouldn't get fat but I heard that I already was. So like every other woman on the planet, I developed weight issues. Which were in complete conflict with the attention I got from boys. Well except for the boy I had a crush on in 3rd grade that called me fatso. But by the time I was in high school, while I still felt like a chubby 3rd grader, I had grown and my weight redistributed. I am sure many of you know what it's like to have a conversation with a guy and you keep wondering if they are going to ever look you in the eye or if they plan to just stare at your chest the whole time. I'd say that was the majority of my conversations with guys. Don't ya just wanna smack 'em! I was pretty confused as to what to believe about myself because of all these things and some sexual abuse issues as a child. Then the major abuse started. I guess I allowed all of my value to become wrapped up in what I looked like and who would like me. It all seems to be determined by outward appearance doesn't it. But God says that man looks on the outward appearance but He looks on the heart. Unfortunately I wasn't much prouder of my heart than I was the outward appearance. I was so desperate for love and acceptance that I compromised. I did things to get attention and that left me feeling so ashamed. So the remedy for that feeling of shame was more attention, someone to accept me. If I could have only really understood God's great love for me and allowed it to fill me and heal me.



Do you know that God is glorified when we have a right view of ourselves? What does it mean to glorify God anyway? It means to make God look good. First, let me just say, I know that God doesn't really need me to make Him look good. He is good. But I want others to see how good He is when they see me. When we see ourselves the way God sees us we have an inner confidence that doesn't need outward appreciation. When I am choosing to believe that God made me intentionally the way He did for a good purpose, I can be satisfied in that, especially as God uses me in the way He designed me. John Piper said "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him". Hmmm how does that look on an average day? Well if I am satisfied that God is good and will work all things together for my good, I have a genuine contentment. Which makes me think of 1 Peter 3:4 which talks about the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that is so pleasing in the sight of the Lord. When I very first read that verse I though, oh great, here's one more thing I'll never be able to do. I couldn't understand why God would expect me to be gentle and quiet and make such a talker. I totally misunderstood what God was telling me here. He was talking about us having a spirit that is gentle and quiet. Gentleness concerns itself with the needs of others and how to meet those needs without doing harm. Ok I can do that. But quiet was where I was stuck. And now I understand that a quiet spirit can easily dwell in the a woman that has a lot to say. A quiet spirit is content with how God has provided for her. Content with her living situation, her home, her life, herself. Not that she doesn't desire better of and for herself but if nothing were to ever change, she would be ok with that. That spirit says, "God you know best what I need and what I don't. I trust you and am satisfied in you." That is beauty that runs through a woman's whole being and what's more it grows more lovely with the passing of time. Although I can tell you my outer beauty is fading, fading, I pray that as I grow more content in God and His provision, I will become more beautiful to Him and really to anyone else who matters. Once we have developed that priority we will dress, behave and present ourselves in a manner that is pleasing to God and feels pretty good to us.


1 cor 6:19-20 says
19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body

See before Chirst came the Spirit of God was not always present with the people. He first visited Moses in the burning bush. He spoke to His people in various ways and then had a temple built where he would dwell. Only the high priest could enter into the holy of holies, which was the innermost part of the temple, where the spirit of God literally would be, and only once a year to have fellowship with God. That's why the temple curtain was ripped from top to bottom when Christ died on the cross. We then had complete access to God the Father through Jesus Christ. He is the door. When we believe, as if our very lives depended on it, He comes to take up residence in us. We become the holy of holies! AMAZING!!! When we choose to be mindful of that consistently it will change the way we live. When Christ gave His life willing on the cross, he paid for our debts,our sin. He bought us. He owns us. But only if we choose to let Him. Only if we receive Him and allow Him to pay for our debts. The thought of someone not wanting that sort of dumbfounds me. It kinda reminds me of when my husband and I got married and he actually started paying the bills, he said to me more than once, "I didn't have any debt til I married you." We laugh about that now but, ya, ouch. I guess facts are facts. So we diligently have paid those debts off and I have to tell you I have greatly come to value how much my husband hates debt. Well, Jesus didn't have any debts til he chose us. Scott knew in advance that I had a car payment and a school bill. He chose me, debts and all. In Hebrews 12 we are told that Jesus, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and now sits at the right hand of the throne of God. The joy set before Him was you. He endured the cross because He knew He was taking your debt so that you could be with Him one day. And he did that before you had even thought of Him. Now I can tell you that I am pretty sure Scott didn't mind terribly taking on my debt because he did want to be with me. But what if he had to pay them off before he could even pursue me, before I even knew he existed? Maybe. I like to think so. But what if the debt was so big that it would take his whole life to pay it off? Maybe. And what if it would cost him his very life. Well now that would seem silly wouldn't it. But Jesus did that. We have been bought with a price and that price was the life of Jesus Christ. I have learned a lot over the years about how to be much more careful with money and much less willing to go into debt. Scott still pays for my debt. I am so motivated to be better because I know how much Scott loves me and how much he hates debt! I am likewise motivated not to sin because I know how much Jesus loves me and how much He hates sin. And even in the midst of my sin, he loves me. The weight of that is at times unbearable, when I am wrestling sin. Let's face it, sin is fun. Sometimes we even feel justified in our sin. But sin is sin because God knew in advance that that activity brings a negative consequence. Oh He is so good. So when we have victory over sin, we make God look good. Others around us can see our good behavior and see God dwelling in us! God uses that to draw others to Himself. One way we do that is not conforming to the world. We look different. You can totally still dress cool and modestly at the same time. I won't even tell you how to do it because if you have a relationship with Jesus, He is perfectly capable to let you know what is appropriate and what isn't. Just make sure you ask Him. You will feel convicted if you cross the line.

If we are satisfied in Chirst we can stop slamming ourselves. Stop criticizing ourselves and seeing everything that we consider to be a flaw. I mean, seriously, who decides the standard anyway. Vogue, Cosmo, The Hills? Do they love you? Do they want what is best for you? No way. They want to sell magazines and stuff. They want you to believe that everything about you is inadequate and you need more here, less there, better this, different that! What if we listened to what God says about us even half as much as we listen to what they say. God says that you are so precious and valueable to Him that His thoughts about you outnumber the grains of sand! Ok so let's grab a handful of sand and see if we can count how many grains are there. Ok then how about a truck load? When we are at the beach, take a minute to just think about that. Look down at your feet and then down the beach both ways and remember that we are just on one beach and think about how many grains of sand there are in the world. He thinks about you more than that!!! If you don't believe me read Psalm 139:18. And then Zephania 3;16 tells us that He rejoices over us with singing and quiets us with his love. And my absolute favorite, Ephesians 3:14-19. I remember the first time I read this passage and God's Spirit spoke to mine. I got it, if only for that moment.:

And 14For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I could almost hear that passion in Paul's voice as he is trying to help the saints understand how deeply our Savior loves us. We can't even wrap our minds around it. I still struggle with it.

I fear many of you are in the same place I was at your age. And you have to deal with media that tells you even bigger lies. I can tell you that the enemy of your soul wants to destroy you. His biggest weapon against you is your sexuality. He wants to convince you that there are really no boundaries. That you can do whatever you want. Rules are made to be broken. And then once you cross the line he goes on full assault with condemnation. He wants you to feel terrible about yourself and rejected. You give yourselves away far too easily. You don't even understand your great worth. Will you hear it from God's word?

Look, I don't know where you are today. Today could be one of those good days where you are feeling pretty good about yourself. But I know that no one feels that way every day or even most days. I don't know what your insecurities are. But I do know that guilt and shame are major tools that Satan will use to keep you insecure. Why we avoid God in the midst of our shame seems to make sense on the surface and yet the truth is, when we take our shame, our guilt, our sin to the Father, He fully forgives! He restores. When we have Christ living in us we are already forgiven. We need only walk in that. If you are afraid you will be rejected by Christ then you are listening to a lie. He will never reject you! Ever! When we kneel before Him and confess our sin He he removes it as far as the east is from the west. We stand up pure. Pure! Do you really get that? Oh precious precious young women, you are so treasured by the God of the universe! Please take that in. Please try to let that wash over you and fill you up.

No more believing the lies the enemy wants to crush us with! No more! We can be wholly pure and sanctified through and through! I have believed a lie for most of my life. I think that because so much was taken from me and then I willingly gave so much away I began to see myself as the harlot, the seductress, the adulteress that scripture warns men to avoid. Once my innocence was stolen, I started giving it away. I became a target and had no defense. It hurts to even think about much less say. But it is time to rise up and believe the truth. We were not made for sin. We were not made to be sinned against. We were made for better, higher purposes. If you have been a target, that doesn't mean you deserved it or did anything to bring it on. I am just getting this so I pray it makes it into your soul. I lived too many years believing that lie. I need my innocence restored. And I know just where to go to get that done. The Father restores our soul. He has made a way for all our wounds to be healed, for all our sin to be forgiven, and for us to be made brand new. Think about that. As a new born baby enters the world with no sin to her account. That is who we are when we confess our sin and leave it at the cross. Remember when I said we have to work together to overcome this. I mean it! We have to or the enemy will have too much victory in too many peoples lives. Girls we have to choose to believe the best in each other. We are not each others enemies. We have to get on the same team against the enemy. Don't just assume when you someone has an unusual expression on their face that they are directing it at you. We all have bad days. Let's believe that she needs an arm around her and some encouragement. Let's get to know each other. Let's say encouraging words to each other. Oh how the Lord loves that and how the enemy hates it. We make a choice to honor God or the devil with every word or action. You have the ability to choose. Believe everyone needs your encouragement. Be kind, tenderhearted toward one another even forgiving one another in as God, in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4) Do you know what a difference you can make in someones life by just being kind. Let's build each other up and in so doing we build hedges of protection around God's treasures. I imagine that would bring delight to the Father's heart. I want to do that, don't you?

David

Now for David. We have seen how Samson fell and Joseph fled, and now we'll see how David found repentance. I think more of us can relate to David than the other two. Actually I think vastly more people struggle even more than Samson but I think more sincerely devoted Christians can relate best to David. David had many wives and much temptation. The best known story of David is his battle with Goliath. David inspires boldness and faith in me as I face giants today, I remember how David wasn't comparing himself to Goliath but comparing Goliath to God. David's life was not unremarkable although he began as the youngest son of a Shepard. God choose him out of all Isreal to replace Saul as king. God rejects Saul as king, it even says he was sorry he made him king. The Greek work used for sorry there indicates a deep sigh. He was grieved that He had made Saul king because Saul would reveal to the people that their desire for a king was unwise. Why was God sorry? I think it indicates that God was disappointed in Isreal for asking for a king and then He had to show them that men sin and there would be no man worthy of divine rule. God as our King is irreplaceable. But more specifically, the most recent act of Saul was disobedience. God had told Saul to utterly wipe out all of the Amalekites and so Saul did, almost. He saved the best of the livestock and the king but killed and destroyed everything he didn't consider of value. If this were a test Saul would probably get an A. I mean he did almost everything right. But God was grieved by Sauls incomplete obedience.
Enter David. Let's take a story of David's life and grade him. How about the story of David and Bathsheba? This account is found in 2 Samuel 11:1 and following.

" 1 Then it happened in the spring, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him and all Israel, and they destroyed the sons of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David stayed at Jerusalem."

First of all, David wasn't where he should have been. He should have been out on the battle field with his men.


"2 Now when evening came David arose from his bed and walked around on the roof of the king's house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful in appearance.

3 So David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, "Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?"

4 David sent messengers and took her, and when she came to him, he lay with her; and when she had purified herself from her uncleanness, she returned to her house."


David certainly shouldn't have been on the roof of the palace. It was customary for women to bathe on the rooftop at this particular time of day and for men to avoid the sight. Surely, David knew better. But David was already hooked. He had seen her and wanted her. He sent for her even after knowing she was married to one of his bravest and most loyal soldiers. What we see here is a clear lack of self control. Proverbs 25:28 tells us, "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control." A particularly interesting thing about this passage is who wrote it. Solomon did. Perhaps he learned the lesson from his mom and dad, David and Bathsheba. I love that! I can just imagine Solomon as a teenager sitting with Dad and Dad saying "Son, I hope you will learn from my mistakes." as he recounts the story of how his parents had hooked up. I love it because Solomon gives credit to his parents in many of the Proverbs for teaching him wisdom. These very same parents who had blown it so huge. Gives me so much hope that God can still use me even after I fall. And He can use you too!
David's defences were crumbling. There were broken down places in David's walls. The picture here was of the walls that fortified a city. Take Ninevah for instance, the walls around Ninevah were so wide that several chariots could ride side by side on them. They were inpenetrable! These defences are as important to us today in our protection from the enemy as they were then from their enemies. We must be aware of the enemy's schemes and have built walls of defence around our hearts and minds.
Next thing you know, Bathsheba is sending word to David that she is pregnant. I am sure the blood rushed to his face in panic as his heart beat wildly. Immediately he started scheming how he could cover up his mistake. He sent for her husband hoping that he would come home from the battlefield, sleep with his wife and then he could think that the baby was his. But Uriah was a man of greater integrity, at least at this moment in this circumstance. Uriah refused to go in and enjoy his wife while his men were still on the battlefield. So the next night David decided to get Uriah a little drunk so that he would sleep with his wife. Again Uriah did not go home to Bathsheba. So, what was he going to do now? David then writes to Joab, the commander, to place Uriah on the front lines of battle and tell everyone else to retreat. Then he sends this written order to Joab in Uriah's hands. Unbelievable!
So Uriah is sent to his death and once the time of mourning is over David sends for Bathsheba and marries her.
David and Bathsheba's baby dies and God tells David through the prophet, Nathan that there will be violence in his family from then on as a consequence of David's sin. Don't miss that. There are consequences to sin that can live with you forever. I was just thinking about Uriah's family and how David had a brother, husband, son killed when he had Uriah killed. I am sure he lived with that pain for the rest of his life. And just imagine if he and Bathesheba got into an argument. Can't you almost hear her say, "oh ya, I guess your gonna put me on the front lines and have everyone else retreat. That was brilliant!"

So, let's score David here. what do you think? I'm thinking a big fat F! But here is where God's measurements differ so vastly from mine and I am so glad they do! God looked at Saul and though he had done almost everything right, Saul was not repentant but was defensive. Whereas David, once he was convicted of his sin, was so grieved over it. Psalm 51 is Davids lament.

1Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5Behold,(K) I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

7Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.

13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
14Deliver me from blood guiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
19then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered to the altar

When God chose David he was choosing a man after his own heart and that is what David came to be known as. David presents the perfect picture of redemption. No wonder he authored most of the Psalms. Jesus says in Luke 7:47 He who has been forgiven much loves much. David loved much. I take such comfort in his stories. David could make some pretty big mistakes. But he also knew how to face his consequences with a broken and contrite heart. He knew to humble himself before the Lord. I am sure there were times when he wrestled with pride but he always came back to the realization of God's supremacy in his life. I love that about David. I want to be like that. I also love the picture we get of the heart of God. He is slow to anger and abounding in love. He is quick to forgive. He even sent His own son to die just so we could have unhindered fellowship with Him. I am amazed at the love God shows me continually. I am so far from where I want to be and He is so patient. He is with you too. I hope you don't miss that. He knows your sin and loves you still. He's right there if you need to turn from sin and run to Him, you won't run far. He has followed you all the way. Just like He followed David. God wanted to have a right relationship with David and that is where conviction comes from. If you are feeling convicted, Hebrews 12 tells us not to take lightly the correction of the Lord because He corrects those He loves and disciplines every son he receives. Let God do His work in you and you will experience the peace and righteousness of God Himself. There really is nothing better!!!